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JackyG
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #855 on: Dec 20th, 2006, 08:54am »

I know it's not really a confession but I'm just really happy about the fact that my mum has been able to get on a bike again. She couldn't ride a bike for 2 years because she had many blockings in her brains after brain attacks. I'm just so proud of her that she did it again. I never expected it but she did it

Ok, here a confession: I'm sneaking up on the post delivery women. Every day I scare her to death by opening the door while she wants to deliver the post. I'm just so exited for my xmas present. Poor women haha!
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smurfeyshmoo
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #856 on: Dec 20th, 2006, 1:36pm »

on Dec 20th, 2006, 08:54am, JackyG wrote:
Ok, here a confession: I'm sneaking up on the post delivery women. Every day I scare her to death by opening the door while she wants to deliver the post. I'm just so exited for my xmas present. Poor women haha!


Hahaha! Must be something good.
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StartledKitten
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #857 on: Dec 20th, 2006, 3:35pm »

^^ LOL JackyG! Poor lady!

And I'm glad your mom is doing better
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sibby06
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #858 on: Dec 22nd, 2006, 04:43am »

hello

well, i feel really bad and i hope she doesn't hate me for this but i lied to my friend and told her that i didn't like the guy she liked but i did and i told him and we are sorta going out but i haven't told her yet.

Im so glad i have that off my guilty chest

Sorry Q
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Ellie
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #859 on: Dec 22nd, 2006, 2:38pm »

Confession: I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend and miss him every day... I cried myself to sleep last night because I missed him so much..
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LaurenaKaJakefan
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #860 on: Dec 22nd, 2006, 8:39pm »

^ aww, Ellie, Ik it's really hard to let go of a b/f . I remember I couldn't sleep one night after me & my old b/f broke up. But the best way to get over him is to have confidence in urself. U don't need a b/f to make u feel loved, smart, & beautiful. I hope that helped a little bit, & u're gonna be OK.
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JG
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Jakey R.O.C.K.S


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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #861 on: Dec 23rd, 2006, 04:26am »

Okay so basically there's so much in life that i want right now, and i mean lots. I want to travel, i've only been to different parts of England, Spain and France in the whole of my 16 years on this planet. And im pretty much bursting. Im growing up far too fast, and it's freaking people out.

I don't do teenage things like drinking and smoking, im practically living an adult life, at the age of 16. I get inspired a lot by Jake and other people and i just want to go out there and do things, but i feel i can't.

I feel like no one except for one person understands what i feel like at this present moment in time. A serious amount of frustration and anger. I also suffer from quite a few things and experience things a lot of people on this planet don't. And im not sure if i know how to cope with it. Don't worry, i won't do anything bad, but one day i might crack and just shout everything out.
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StartledKitten
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #862 on: Dec 25th, 2006, 7:19pm »

^^ JG, I know what you mean about wanting to do things in your life. "Get out there". I feel the same way. But I mean, we're really young, you're only 16 and I'm 18. We have our whole life ahead of us. I know that's so cliché, but it's true.
And no one says you have to do teenage things because you are one. Not every adult do adult things (whatever that might be...)
16 is very young, but don't get me wrong, I just mean young in a material way. A 16 year old might be alot more inteligent than a 40 year old. It's just that a young person have huge limits because of their age. When you get older you'll be able to "get out there". You'll have oportunities to study somewhere else, meet new people and everything you do can take you as far as you want out in the world, where you can express yourself in what way you like.
It is just that right now there's no doors open because of your age. Believe me hun, they'll soon be standing there before you. You just wait.
I know the feeling of inspiration and having trouble with expressing it. You get frustrated and wanna do everything at once.
But you just have to do the best you can. Take it to the limits you have right now. I'm not sure what you mean by you can't, because I'm sure you can, in one way or another. Not just out in the world right now. You'll be surprised with how much inspiration can get out of you by just standing in your room!

And the thing about you growing up to fast is only your business, people have no right to get freaked out. Unless you're troubled about it too, you know what I mean?
2 years ago I was just like you. I stayed home alot and was comfortable with it. I still do, I prefer to be alone and do stuff I feel gives me something. I'm still the same person, only I've found the right people I wanna hang out with to a sertain degree. We go out and party, sure, but nothing say's we HAVE to.
And really, I much rather stay home reading a good book, lol.
So as long as you're not freaked out, they don't have a saying in it.

Just today I thought about life and the world. If you can't live it you'll just have to create it. In your mind. There. In your room, JG.
I write alot, and in my head I already have people living my dream, you know what I mean? And some things I know just can't be. But you know what, if your mind is set on it, you can get pretty f*cking close to it. Not just right now, at 16.

And also, be glad you have that one person who understands you, you could have had no one.
And whatever your suffering from that alot of people don't, I still doubt you're the only one feeling the same way. Not that THAT is any comfort. But still.
And girl, the cracking and screaming might be the end of it.
Why feel sick when you can throw it up and then feel like you've never been ill? The trick is daring to do it. But it really is the best way of easing the pain. I've been there.

I guess my confession would be that I have a form of epilepsy that makes you "dissapere". I would compare it to in Lord of the rings (don't know if you guys know which part I'm talking about), when Frodo puts the ring on and dissaperer into another dimension, or how you should explain it.
You look absense and might smell a sertain smell or get deja vu. It's very scary... But I'm on medication now and haven't had it for years.

But before that, ever since I was about 6, I thought I was going mad. It was so scary... It was just until like 3 years ago we found out what it really was. I thought I was going crazy and end up at a mental hospital.... Between 13 and 15 was the worst years on my life so far. I even took antidepressing, and sometimes never got out of bed.
Bah, anyway, it all got better when we found out I had epilepsy.
I can't say I know how you feel JG, but I know alot about feeling like shit.
But again, you're young and I KNOW you will eventualy be able to do what you're passionate about if you just get your mind set on it.


JESUS FREAKIN CHRIST THAT'S A LONG POST!!

Sorry you guys! Hope I made any sense at all!

I bet no one of you read it anyway, HAHA!
So, bye... lol.
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JG
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Jakey R.O.C.K.S


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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #863 on: Dec 28th, 2006, 05:33am »

Oh my Gosh honey that post was so worth it. It made me feel so much better reading it. I do have so many dreams that for some reason i want to do right now, when like you said i have the rest of my life. I feel like i want a job and i want to be living on my own. Doing my own thing, im kind of getting sick of people like my parents still telling me what to wear. Not my mum, but my step mum, she treats me like im 11. Doesn't she know that i've found my own individuality and that im proud to be who i am.

I guess i don't get freaked out by myself growing up, but it does feel weird. I mean i'm probably 1 out of 4-5000 people that doesn't drink or smoke, because seriously half of the teenagers in the UK do. I mean the other day i was at my nan's making a video for my cousin because he's getting married and my aunt just shoved Champagne in my face, she didn't even ask if i drank alcahol. I hate how adults think just because you're 16, that you are like every other teenager on this planet. Well that isn't true.

The one thing that gets on my nerves the most though is, people putting me down because i wanna act. All my teachers at school, well most of them said it was hard, sure i know it's hard, but i have that fire inside to keep going, the determination that they don't know about. They think just because im a small kid, who has learning problems, who went through the worst time of her life last year and failed most of her exams apart from Drama won't make it. Well i will make it.

Even my own brother thinks it's just a dream, i can't even describe how much more it is. One day i wanna make it, and just shove all the negative thoughts i've been given back in there faces because one day im going to show them all. That's what frustrates me about my life at the moment. Im pratically only happy at college because that's where i get to do what i love. I hope one day my life will be different. Because right now im still trying to find out what the point of life is whether or not im making the right descisions.

I experience some very scary things too, i see angels, in fact everyday. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. It's like Most haunted but with angels. Sometimes i sense things then they happen, i get so angry because i can't even tell my own parents how im feeling sometimes.

I had to get that off my chest................
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StartledKitten
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #864 on: Dec 28th, 2006, 5:05pm »

Quote:
One day i wanna (gonna) make it, and just shove all the negative thoughts i've been given back in there faces because one day im going to show them all.


That is EXACTLY what you're gonna keep telling yourself girl. As long as you are able to think like that you still got your dream in your hand, you know what I mean?
Just exchange "wanna" into "gonna".
People love to bring others down. People without passion and dreams make fun of those who want more. Regular people are narrow minded, think life is all material where you have a 9 to 5 job, go home, watch telly, eat take aways and go to sleep.
Sure, you can't live in a dream world, the world ain't a happy place, and dreams often vanish because of the way the world looks today and the people who rule it. But dreams do freakin' come true! As long as you keep that "one-day-I'll-show-them fire" burning! Another very cliché saying is, anything is possible, but that's also true. If you want something enough you can do it. There are millions of stories about world famous people who are living their dream.
I'm almost 100% positive they had people telling them they'll never make it. But as it seems, they didn't give a damn about what other people were saying, because look where they are today.
And the angels... people say they see ghosts and claim to be able to communicate with them. Alot of people think it's bs and alot of other believe it in their hearts. Ghosts can't be proven but they still believe in them, and I think it's the same with angels. We can't prove any of them exist and we can't prove they DON'T exist.
As long as it doesn't bother you I wouldn't be worried.
Anyway, I believe in you girl!

Add me on msn if ya want: hanna_fantacy@hotmail.com
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epitomeofinnocence
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #865 on: Dec 28th, 2006, 6:44pm »

I want to run away. I'm really scared. I'm tense and nervous all the time, tend to stare into space for hours... I'm tired throughout the day, then I can't get to sleep until midnight or later, I had a panic attack last night that lasted much longer than what is considered normal, I'm depressed, my mom is depressed, my family is having financial problems, my parents don't get along, I feel like I have messed up so much where I am now that I should just do everyone a favor and go to the opposite side of the country and start over. But I don't want to be mistaken for wanting attention, or being lazy, or stupid, or emotionally disturbed. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and can't wait to move out. I'm hoping that it is just this month, since this month I have been reliving the worst moments in my life over and over again to the police, in victim impact statements and to my new counsellor.

I also don't do drugs or drink alcohol, I don't need to add more problems to my already extensive list.
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JG
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Jakey R.O.C.K.S


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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #866 on: Dec 29th, 2006, 08:19am »

Thankyou so much Startled Kitten i honestly do feel a lot better now. You've given me a lot of inspiration. I WILL show them that i can do it, and that whatever they say won't come true. If i want something bad enough i'll do whatever it takes to get it. Including working exstremely hard, which i am already doing. I may not be the brightest person but i can succeed in life, in not so more then the more intelligent ones.

Seeing angels doesn't bother me i guess it's just weird at first, and you don't know how to tell people especially you're parents and friends. I do know now though why they're there and it makes perfect sense to me. It's made me realise how different my life is, and how i can make it a lot better. If only people knew the help that was out there, there would never be people committing suicide.

@Epitmeofraggrance

Im so sorry you are feeling this way. Please don't run away, i know life feels really bad right now but it WILL get better, i promise you. The main thing is that you are getting help and you have someone to talk to a counsellor. They will help you overcome you're problems and you're feelings. The Anxiety and sleeping probelems are deffiantly something to do with whatever is going on. You can buy CD's that calm you down, they really work. This may help you to get to sleep. I can feel for you, because i have been in the exact same position counselling, sleeping problems, anxiety some of which i still have. If you ever need to chat im here.
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ihjtalk
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #867 on: Dec 29th, 2006, 8:48pm »

@Epitmeofraggrance
I agree with JG. Hang in there. I often thought of running away. I was in a broken home and it was ugly and depressing at times. I wonder how my life would be if I had. I guess I am glad I didn't run away now that it is all in the past. I found good things to do away from home which took up a lot of my time and helped me in the long run. You know the saying, "This too shall pass..."
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Ir3n3
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #868 on: Dec 30th, 2006, 1:41pm »

I was a victim of "bulling" some years ago They said I was a monster...it was hard but I got lots of support from my best friends and Jake (somehow!). Crazy, huh?
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Rach
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Re: Confesssions
« Reply #869 on: Dec 30th, 2006, 2:53pm »

on Dec 28th, 2006, 6:44pm, epitomeofinnocence wrote:
I want to run away. I'm really scared. I'm tense and nervous all the time, tend to stare into space for hours... I'm tired throughout the day, then I can't get to sleep until midnight or later, I had a panic attack last night that lasted much longer than what is considered normal, I'm depressed, my mom is depressed, my family is having financial problems, my parents don't get along, I feel like I have messed up so much where I am now that I should just do everyone a favor and go to the opposite side of the country and start over. But I don't want to be mistaken for wanting attention, or being lazy, or stupid, or emotionally disturbed. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and can't wait to move out. I'm hoping that it is just this month, since this month I have been reliving the worst moments in my life over and over again to the police, in victim impact statements and to my new counsellor.

I also don't do drugs or drink alcohol, I don't need to add more problems to my already extensive list.


kelsey, hang in there. I am really glad you have a counsellor now, honestly it will help. I found the reliving the experience hard but in time it will make you feel better about it.

Like Tam (JG) said, what about a relaxing cd? I had one with sea noises and quiet music. It really relaxed me.

When the new year comes tomorrow. Think at midnight that this is a new year and don't let anything take me. Thought of mind really can make a difference.

Have you been to the doctors about the panic attacks? Is there anything they can get to stop them?

Rach x
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Heath Ledger
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