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Nikkita
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #15 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 5:43pm »

on Jun 26th, 2006, 5:40pm, DonnieDarkoFreek wrote:
Awww I'm the exact way. I NEVER let annnyone take my photo. In fact, during the school year I skipped picture day because I didn't want to get it taken, and I skipped the reshoots too.


I did the same thing. I cried all night before, thats how worried I was about the camera.
« Last Edit: Jun 26th, 2006, 5:43pm by Nikkita » Logged


nellie
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #16 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 5:55pm »

YEAh, Hell yeah... like I told you guys, in another thread. It happens a lot. Usually because of a guy.
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DAngel
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #17 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 6:45pm »

i wish i could give each and every one of you a huge hug..

i wish words could make you feel better, but only you guys can do that for yourselves

love and light x
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JeNiTy
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #18 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 7:25pm »

Well, if this is the place to let it out.....I suffer from and extreme form of boredom right now. I'm not depressed, im not sad. I don't know what I am but it's not good. It's like I can't feel anything. My thoughts are blank. I've been bored out of my mind ever since the begining of summber break and belive me I dont want to go to school but stayin at home is driving me nuts. I want to get out but I can't cause there is nothin to do and nobody around to do anything with. Every day is exactly like the day before and I try to make it different but I end up doing the same thing. I guess last summer I was at my grandparents' place and I had fun everyday but now there's nobody around to entertain or be entertained by and I'm afraid summer's gonna pass me by before I know it. I want to do something and go somewhere. I dislike this city and state so much...
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eef
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #19 on: Jun 26th, 2006, 7:33pm »

on Jun 26th, 2006, 7:25pm, JeNiTy wrote:
Well, if this is the place to let it out.....I suffer from and extreme form of boredom right now. I'm not depressed, im not sad. I don't know what I am but it's not good. It's like I can't feel anything. My thoughts are blank. I've been bored out of my mind ever since the begining of summber break and belive me I dont want to go to school but stayin at home is driving me nuts. I want to get out but I can't cause there is nothin to do and nobody around to do anything with. Every day is exactly like the day before and I try to make it different but I end up doing the same thing. I guess last summer I was at my grandparents' place and I had fun everyday but now there's nobody around to entertain or be entertained by and I'm afraid summer's gonna pass me by before I know it. I want to do something and go somewhere. I dislike this city and state so much...


aahw I've had almost the same feeling . Aren't there people at school who has the same ? or go on a club , sport or something ? find a job?
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #20 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 01:28am »

I have never been hard down depressed before. I guess it's b/c when I almost get to that point I stop and think about ppl who have it worst than me or their situation being worse and then I feel like I have no reason to be complaining or feeling so low.

I envy all of you who are so open to telling about your problems. I am a very firm believer that the best way to ease some of the pain is to get it out and tell someone. So hugs to all of you.
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #21 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 01:43am »

on Jun 26th, 2006, 7:25pm, JeNiTy wrote:
Well, if this is the place to let it out.....I suffer from and extreme form of boredom right now. I'm not depressed, im not sad. I don't know what I am but it's not good. It's like I can't feel anything. My thoughts are blank. I've been bored out of my mind ever since the begining of summber break and belive me I dont want to go to school but stayin at home is driving me nuts. I want to get out but I can't cause there is nothin to do and nobody around to do anything with. Every day is exactly like the day before and I try to make it different but I end up doing the same thing. I guess last summer I was at my grandparents' place and I had fun everyday but now there's nobody around to entertain or be entertained by and I'm afraid summer's gonna pass me by before I know it. I want to do something and go somewhere. I dislike this city and state so much...


thats f-kin crazy cuz thats exactly how i feel, almost word for word. except every summer is like this. and i dont wanna go back to school cuz there's the inevitable question, what did you do this summer? i always come up with some stupid bull cuz i dont have a social life. i feel like my mind is slipping away as each day passes, and its times like these that make me wanna go out so i can meet someone but im too shy and i cant talk to ppl i dont know, and the ppl i do know dont want anything to do with me. it just pisses me off that i let life slip by and i dont do anything about it. i'm just waiting for something big to happen and change my life i guess... im not so sure if its boredom either cuz i absolutely hate myself and i usually just dont talk to anyone cuz no one pays attention to me anyway, so...

wow.. i guess i'll stop complaining now
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #22 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 01:48am »

GAWH!! I am pretty depressed too, I seriously live online...there is nothing to do where I live, and so I just sit on my ass ALL day online...

Also, I am getting depressed over jake. Every day I love him more and more, and that is scary, I fell in love with him years ago, it has added up to be WAY too much. I can barely watch a jake movie anymore without crying at the end because I want him so badly. and, the weird thing is, I dont love him for his gorgeousness, I mean, it REALLY helps, he is too goddamn gorgeous I cant stand it, but I really love his personality. I try to find out as much about his PERSONALITY as I can, and I love it. He is really an incredible guy, in a beautiful body!!! I havent met him, but I am sure he is an amazing guy.

Waaaah *goes off to cry* I WANT JAKE!!

I know I am being a whiny annoying...person, but still, I just had to let it out.
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outcastkid420666
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #23 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 03:22am »

When I was in middle school I had the worse years of my life. I was majorally depressed. I was suicidal, I had a few mental break downs, I was addicted to pill popping and alcohol. I was also in the looney bin and in and out of the hospital for bad drinking nights and a an over dose. I also was arrested a lot. It was bad. It's not like that now, though. I'm very happy with my life, friends that are so amazing I could never ask for better ones, ever since I had a close to death experiance from over dosing I haven't popped one pill. Sometimes, I'm afaraid to take a tylonol or Ibprofin. I drink a lot, still, but not every night like I used to and I try not to drink to cover up the things that are bothering me and just to have a good times these days, though.
Lately, though. I've been kind of down. Each day is getting better. I found out my 15 year old cousin was killed in a car accident on the 17th and I found out on my birthday (the day after). I haven't seen her since I was really little, so I don't really remember her. I still loved her, though. She was my baby cousin. I think about her everyday and I can't think about good times because I can't remember them. All I can think about is what my cousin Maggie told me, what my aunt told me and seeing her lying in that casket and saying my last good bye at the cemetary because unfourtently, that's all I can remember. I realized on Sunday that I've been chain smoking cigarettes, smoking even more weed then I usually do on a daily baisis and I've been drinking really heavily and getting OVERLY drunk ever since I found out about her death and that scares me.
This past Saturday I was really drunk and my aunt called to see how I was. I was drunk, but I still lied and said I was fine. I thought I was, but when I hung up with her guess I broke down crying for a good 45 minutes. I don't remember, though. This morning, when I woke up I was lying in bed and I thought about her again and I started crying again. It sucks.
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #24 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 04:27am »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 03:22am, outcastkid420666 wrote:
When I was in middle school I had the worse years of my life. I was majorally depressed. I was suicidal, I had a few mental break downs, I was addicted to pill popping and alcohol. I was also in the looney bin and in and out of the hospital for bad drinking nights and a an over dose. I also was arrested a lot. It was bad. It's not like that now, though. I'm very happy with my life, friends that are so amazing I could never ask for better ones, ever since I had a close to death experiance from over dosing I haven't popped one pill. Sometimes, I'm afaraid to take a tylonol or Ibprofin. I drink a lot, still, but not every night like I used to and I try not to drink to cover up the things that are bothering me and just to have a good times these days, though.
Lately, though. I've been kind of down. Each day is getting better. I found out my 15 year old cousin was killed in a car accident on the 17th and I found out on my birthday (the day after). I haven't seen her since I was really little, so I don't really remember her. I still loved her, though. She was my baby cousin. I think about her everyday and I can't think about good times because I can't remember them. All I can think about is what my cousin Maggie told me, what my aunt told me and seeing her lying in that casket and saying my last good bye at the cemetary because unfourtently, that's all I can remember. I realized on Sunday that I've been chain smoking cigarettes, smoking even more weed then I usually do on a daily baisis and I've been drinking really heavily and getting OVERLY drunk ever since I found out about her death and that scares me.
This past Saturday I was really drunk and my aunt called to see how I was. I was drunk, but I still lied and said I was fine. I thought I was, but when I hung up with her guess I broke down crying for a good 45 minutes. I don't remember, though. This morning, when I woke up I was lying in bed and I thought about her again and I started crying again. It sucks.


that's really sad about your cousin. none of my close family members have died, but 4 people in my grade have died ever since 7th grade. the first one hung himself, the second one was a car crash, the third one was this kid had diabetes and he didn't know it so he just died all of a sudden, and the forth one was a skateboarding accident. i knew all of them really well....but i got over being sad. it strange because no one else has died in anyone else's grade but mine, and we had FOUR people! it's scary.......
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JG
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #25 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 06:26am »

I get depressed all the time, i think everybody does, it sort of like a part of growing up all the different feelings. If it gets to much just talk to someone you trust about how you feel about things.
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #26 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 06:47am »

Your stories make my whining sound pretty stupid, but hell with it. I'm not really depressed or anything, it just bugs me that I'm constantly nervous about something even though there really isn't anything to be nervous about. You know the feeling? Kinda having butterflies in your stomach (in the bad way), not being able to sit down and relax etc. It's summer and I should enjoy it, this is probably my last one I'm spending home with my family and in Finland so. But I just can't relax.

I guess it's partly because so many new things are happening in my life right now, like I will start my very first job in July which is driving cars from place A to place B and I don't even like driving that much. Shouldn't complain though, I really need the money. The other thing that stresses me more than I let my parents know, is me moving to England in a couple of months. Ive never lived on my own in the first place and now I'm supposed to move abroad just like that. I'm kinda excited too, but it's scary most of the time. Then I will start university in September which means taking resbonsibility of your studies going further and all that shit. And at the same time I have so high expectations of university life that I will probably be disappointed.

So basically this all makes me really excited but nervous too, 'cause I feel I'm not ready for it yet, like I want to put the brakes on, curl up under my blankets and never grow up. Now I wish it was last summer when the only thing that stressed me was the approaching finals' in the autumn and spring.
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #27 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 07:37am »

velvet tear, if u need or want someone to hang out with in england and ur in london, give me a pm.. i moved here about 2 months ago and im seriously lonely/bored and homesick, but i needed to do this so here i am, self inflicted suffering

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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #28 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 08:27am »

This is so weird... last night I was watching Donnie Darko, and it got to the end where the plane engine falls into Donnie's room and he dies... I bawled my eyes out! I couldn't stop crying for about an hour afterwards. It's weird because I've seen it hundreds of times before and I know what happens, but for some reason I couldn't stop crying. It sounds really pathetic And I guess it doesn't help my down mode at the moment

Now I really do sound like a whining brat, sorry.

*hugs everyone*
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Nikkita
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #29 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 08:57am »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 03:22am, outcastkid420666 wrote:
When I was in middle school I had the worse years of my life. I was majorally depressed. I was suicidal, I had a few mental break downs, I was addicted to pill popping and alcohol. I was also in the looney bin and in and out of the hospital for bad drinking nights and a an over dose. I also was arrested a lot. It was bad. It's not like that now, though. I'm very happy with my life, friends that are so amazing I could never ask for better ones, ever since I had a close to death experiance from over dosing I haven't popped one pill. Sometimes, I'm afaraid to take a tylonol or Ibprofin. I drink a lot, still, but not every night like I used to and I try not to drink to cover up the things that are bothering me and just to have a good times these days, though.
Lately, though. I've been kind of down. Each day is getting better. I found out my 15 year old cousin was killed in a car accident on the 17th and I found out on my birthday (the day after). I haven't seen her since I was really little, so I don't really remember her. I still loved her, though. She was my baby cousin. I think about her everyday and I can't think about good times because I can't remember them. All I can think about is what my cousin Maggie told me, what my aunt told me and seeing her lying in that casket and saying my last good bye at the cemetary because unfourtently, that's all I can remember. I realized on Sunday that I've been chain smoking cigarettes, smoking even more weed then I usually do on a daily baisis and I've been drinking really heavily and getting OVERLY drunk ever since I found out about her death and that scares me.
This past Saturday I was really drunk and my aunt called to see how I was. I was drunk, but I still lied and said I was fine. I thought I was, but when I hung up with her guess I broke down crying for a good 45 minutes. I don't remember, though. This morning, when I woke up I was lying in bed and I thought about her again and I started crying again. It sucks.


When I read this one thing stands out to me the most, the part where you said you smoke more weed. Hunny, the main reason I'm depressed is my older brother and the shit he's put me and my family through. He is now 25 and he started smoking weed form when he was around my age (16). He got very addicted, and because of it he now has schizophrenia. Cannabis is very harmful and I know it can affect different people in different ways, but this is just the long-term effect it had on him. Since 5 years ago, he has been very violent and aggressive towards us for no reason, his behaviour getting worse each passing day, arguments breaking out practically everyday in the early hours of the morning and lasting for around 3 hours, with him threatening to kill us all and burn down the house and shit like that. About 2 years ago, his illness properly peaked, he must have been smoking around 5 blunts a day, he hadn't had a job for 5 years all his friends had left him because he was just going crazy and beating them up for no reason at all. He'd steal money off of my mum and off of me, and when we'd not let him he'd get really violent and aggressive. He's a massive guy, and usually it would just be me and my mum at home, and so he ruled the house. He had constant fights with my dad, I can't count the number of times the police have been called to my house to stop the fighting. Then a year ago, we thought he had a mental illness because he used to say stuff like "why are you putting arrows in my eye" and "don't put pills in my food fucking bitch" when we wouldn't do anything, He started saving all old newspapers, he thought the CIA were after him and sending him messages through the headlines. It sounds kinda funny when I say it, but believe me it was scary as shit.

He got forcefully taken into hospital (sectioned) last year, and now that he's out he is on medication and getting much better. But what I'm trying to say is weed can affect people like this. Research it. Cannabis induced psychosis I think it's called. You don't want to end up like him, you really don't. Looking back now, he says it has totally ruined his life, which it has, and not only that it's made a big impression on my family and me too.
« Last Edit: Jun 27th, 2006, 08:58am by Nikkita » Logged


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