Feeling depressed?

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VelvetTear
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #30 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 09:23am »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 07:37am, DAngel wrote:
velvet tear, if u need or want someone to hang out with in england and ur in london, give me a pm.. i moved here about 2 months ago and im seriously lonely/bored and homesick, but i needed to do this so here i am, self inflicted suffering



Oh, I love London, but I guess it gets boring if you don't have anyone to hang out with. So sure, I'll let you know when I'm there. ^__^ I'll be moving to Birmingham or so it seems at the moment (the other choice is Manchester, but it's just my back-up plan...), but London's close enough.

You don't happen to have MSN?
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joolimer
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #31 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 10:33am »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 06:47am, VelvetTear wrote:
I guess it's partly because so many new things are happening in my life right now, like I will start my very first job in July which is driving cars from place A to place B and I don't even like driving that much. Shouldn't complain though, I really need the money. The other thing that stresses me more than I let my parents know, is me moving to England in a couple of months. Ive never lived on my own in the first place and now I'm supposed to move abroad just like that. I'm kinda excited too, but it's scary most of the time. Then I will start university in September which means taking resbonsibility of your studies going further and all that shit. And at the same time I have so high expectations of university life that I will probably be disappointed.

So basically this all makes me really excited but nervous too, 'cause I feel I'm not ready for it yet, like I want to put the brakes on, curl up under my blankets and never grow up. Now I wish it was last summer when the only thing that stressed me was the approaching finals' in the autumn and spring.


I wish I had the guts to do that. You're really brave, and I don't mean to put more pressure on you, lol. But I admire people who actually do something like that. I always dream about moving abroad and stuff like that but never really seriously because I know I'll never do it, and it's kinda sad... Well, it couldn't even happen in the near future because I'd have to save money first, but in general I just don't trust myself enough, I guess. You know, take studying in a university in another language. I know I'm pretty good at english but I'm just scared to leave to a completely unfamiliar territory, so to speak... And that's the main thing about it with everyone, of course it's something to be nervous about at first. But to actually do it, that's already something. That means you've taken one step forward.... I'm just stuck and that really bugs me because I feel like I never do anything anyways.

I see there are many people here who feel the same way. I'm not a very social person either, and I feel like I'm getting more and more anti-social. My self-esteem isn't very good, and I'm very self-conscious, too. I always feel like I'm the "odd one". That's how I've always been, I guess. Partly because I was kinda bullied in elementary school and it's left a few marks. Nothing major but everything has an impact of somekind. Anyways, I also feel like I haven't accomplished anything. Well, I've graduated from junior high but that's it. After that I've already dropped out from two schools. The first one because I felt the program wasn't the right one for me, and the second one because it was a sucky school, and something just clicked in my head.. I became totally uninterested. So, now I've been working for a year and will continue until I figure out what I want to do with my life. My job isn't something permanent, it's just to get along.

Anyways, everything's just really frustrating because I'm almost 22 and I can feel my parents breathing down my neck. They're ok with the situation but I know they want me to do something. That's kinda why I can never really relax, either, I feel like I should be doing something meaningful all the time, and I'm just sitting on my lazy ass day after day. I've started to go for long walks, though. I enjoy those. Sports are another issue for me, I haven't really found the ONE for me, I've always found most sports hard to enjoy. I'm too lazy to try new things, everything's "too hard".

When I dropped out from the second school this spring, my dad said I don't take things seriously, that I should get a grip on myself... And he's right. I'm just a lazy brat who really needs to grow up.

I know I'm being really whiny right now, and I'll stop... I just thought I'd type that all out once I started.
« Last Edit: Jun 27th, 2006, 10:50am by joolimer » Logged

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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #32 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 10:58am »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 09:23am, VelvetTear wrote:
Oh, I love London, but I guess it gets boring if you don't have anyone to hang out with. So sure, I'll let you know when I'm there. ^__^ I'll be moving to Birmingham or so it seems at the moment (the other choice is Manchester, but it's just my back-up plan...), but London's close enough.

You don't happen to have MSN?


yeap add me battleangel420@hotmail.com
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Nell
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #33 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 11:38am »

I'm just about as down as I can be - and that's not a common thing for me since I'm generally a positive person...

OK, here's the list: within a month...
... my cat died
... my aunt died
... my parents told me they might divorce
... I got fired from my job
... I failed two main subjects at the Uni
... my two best friend's mothers both were diagnosed with breast cancer
... my aunt who's had cancer for years is going downhill
... well this isn't within a month but about a year ago my heart got broken so bad I've closed up

And though Jake makes me smile, sometimes my Jake obsession makes it even harder 'cause I know that I'll never be with him.

One good thing happened... I got casted for two modelling jobs, but I've stopped modelling after that because I am not in the mood to stand still and look pretty AT ALL.

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outcastkid420666
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #34 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 12:45pm »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 08:57am, Nikkita wrote:
When I read this one thing stands out to me the most, the part where you said you smoke more weed. Hunny, the main reason I'm depressed is my older brother and the shit he's put me and my family through. He is now 25 and he started smoking weed form when he was around my age (16). He got very addicted, and because of it he now has schizophrenia. Cannabis is very harmful and I know it can affect different people in different ways, but this is just the long-term effect it had on him. Since 5 years ago, he has been very violent and aggressive towards us for no reason, his behaviour getting worse each passing day, arguments breaking out practically everyday in the early hours of the morning and lasting for around 3 hours, with him threatening to kill us all and burn down the house and shit like that. About 2 years ago, his illness properly peaked, he must have been smoking around 5 blunts a day, he hadn't had a job for 5 years all his friends had left him because he was just going crazy and beating them up for no reason at all. He'd steal money off of my mum and off of me, and when we'd not let him he'd get really violent and aggressive. He's a massive guy, and usually it would just be me and my mum at home, and so he ruled the house. He had constant fights with my dad, I can't count the number of times the police have been called to my house to stop the fighting. Then a year ago, we thought he had a mental illness because he used to say stuff like "why are you putting arrows in my eye" and "don't put pills in my food fucking bitch" when we wouldn't do anything, He started saving all old newspapers, he thought the CIA were after him and sending him messages through the headlines. It sounds kinda funny when I say it, but believe me it was scary as shit.

He got forcefully taken into hospital (sectioned) last year, and now that he's out he is on medication and getting much better. But what I'm trying to say is weed can affect people like this. Research it. Cannabis induced psychosis I think it's called. You don't want to end up like him, you really don't. Looking back now, he says it has totally ruined his life, which it has, and not only that it's made a big impression on my family and me too.


This shit is real? Wow! I thought the only thing weed could do to you is get you high. When I've done reports on legalizing marijuana there were so many good benefits to it as in health reasons. If it can help reduce health issues then how in the hell can it possibly make you like that?
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #35 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 12:52pm »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 12:45pm, outcastkid420666 wrote:
This shit is real? Wow! I thought the only thing weed could do to you is get you high. When I've done reports on legalizing marijuana there were so many good benefits to it as in health reasons. If it can help reduce health issues then how in the hell can it possibly make you like that?


It's real, trust me. Loads of research has been done into it it's definatly called cannibis induced psychosis. Obviously, it won't effect EVERYONE like that, but i mean, why take the risk? Your mind is the one thing that's the hardest to fix.

In holland, because its legal there, my aunty lives there and she was saying how they have a lot of problems with it there even if it's not reported, she knows plenty of people affected in the same way.

All i'm saying is, be careful. It's a VERY dangerous drug.
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Riotgirl888
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #36 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 12:56pm »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 11:38am, Nell wrote:
I'm just about as down as I can be - and that's not a common thing for me since I'm generally a positive person...

OK, here's the list: within a month...
... my cat died
... my aunt died
... my parents told me they might divorce
... I got fired from my job
... I failed two main subjects at the Uni
... my two best friend's mothers both were diagnosed with breast cancer
... my aunt who's had cancer for years is going downhill
... well this isn't within a month but about a year ago my heart got broken so bad I've closed up

And though Jake makes me smile, sometimes my Jake obsession makes it even harder 'cause I know that I'll never be with him.

One good thing happened... I got casted for two modelling jobs, but I've stopped modelling after that because I am not in the mood to stand still and look pretty AT ALL.



That are al lot things to go through..!! It isn't strange that you get depressed.
*HUG*
I hope there coming positive things to your way from now..
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..Cherish the rose between all the thorns..
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #37 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 12:58pm »

Outcastkid, check this site out.

http://www.priory.com/psych/cannabis.htm
« Last Edit: Jun 27th, 2006, 12:58pm by Nikkita » Logged


Riotgirl888
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #38 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 12:59pm »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 12:52pm, Nikkita wrote:
It's real, trust me. Loads of research has been done into it it's definatly called cannibis induced psychosis. Obviously, it won't effect EVERYONE like that, but i mean, why take the risk? Your mind is the one thing that's the hardest to fix.

In holland, because its legal there, my aunty lives there and she was saying how they have a lot of problems with it there even if it's not reported, she knows plenty of people affected in the same way.

All i'm saying is, be careful. It's a VERY dangerous drug.


I hope there comes more prevention about this subject.
I live in Holland and i know some of the problems you can get by using drugs. But defenitly not all of them.
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..Cherish the rose between all the thorns..
Nell
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #39 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 2:40pm »

It just keeps getting better and better... I have a very shitty family... my aunts, cousins, uncles, grandmother; they're all hell on legs. They have tried to ruin my and my parent's life many times.

They have ignored me since I was born. They'd come to all the birthdays accept for mine, so on. When I was older they started saying things behind my back. And when they'd see me they'd be all nice and fluffy. I hated the mask.

Two years ago they started getting nasty. Saying I ruined my cousin's life (it was the other way around since she stole my boyfriend, but whatever...), LYING to everyone saying that my dad was abusing me.... it was the most horrible time ever. My dad got into his depression that way.

And now, suddenly, they are all over me. Trying to become my best friend, pretending they're sorry. I'm just curious what they want from me. I hate them. All my life I've wondered what I did to make them hate me like that, now I'm just wondering why the hell they won't leave me alone...
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nellie
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #40 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 2:52pm »

I'm depressed because I was in love with one of my best friends, and now we lost contact... one of my best friends tried to steal him. She totally stabbed me in the back... we we're studying music and now for a year I haven't even been able to sing cause every song reminds me of that guy. And the girl that went behind my back haven't even tried to say she's sorry. Shit, I can't even sing anymore because of this... I don't think it's any fun anymore and I used to live for being on a stage or whatever...
This guy broke my heart I guess, but he's aplayer, he has a girlfriend... and I was just trying to do the right thing.
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Ellie
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #41 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 3:14pm »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 11:38am, Nell wrote:
I'm just about as down as I can be - and that's not a common thing for me since I'm generally a positive person...

OK, here's the list: within a month...
... my cat died
... my aunt died
... my parents told me they might divorce
... I got fired from my job
... I failed two main subjects at the Uni
... my two best friend's mothers both were diagnosed with breast cancer
... my aunt who's had cancer for years is going downhill
... well this isn't within a month but about a year ago my heart got broken so bad I've closed up

And though Jake makes me smile, sometimes my Jake obsession makes it even harder 'cause I know that I'll never be with him.

One good thing happened... I got casted for two modelling jobs, but I've stopped modelling after that because I am not in the mood to stand still and look pretty AT ALL.


Oh honey, I'm really sorry. That is terrible, sadly all I can offer is a hug... *huggles*... I'm crap with advice Along with everything else

And I feel like asking this... sorry if it's too personal but you don't have to answer... does anyone else cut?
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Riotgirl888
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #42 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 3:26pm »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 3:14pm, Katie wrote:
Oh honey, I'm really sorry. That is terrible, sadly all I can offer is a hug... *huggles*... I'm crap with advice Along with everything else

And I feel like asking this... sorry if it's too personal but you don't have to answer... does anyone else cut?


Yup, sometimes

@ nellie; All i can say is try to get over him and it. They treated you very bad.. I hope that one day you will sing again!!
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #43 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 3:55pm »

on Jun 27th, 2006, 3:26pm, Riotgirl888 wrote:
Yup, sometimes

@ nellie; All i can say is try to get over him and it. They treated you very bad.. I hope that one day you will sing again!!


Yeah, God I hope so... thanks hun for your kind words.
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joolimer
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #44 on: Jun 27th, 2006, 4:30pm »

Nell, you're in a really fucked up situation.
There's not much one can do about stuff like that, you just gotta be strong... Hope everything turns out better! *sends positive energy and strength*


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- There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing.
- I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
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