Feeling depressed?

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ihjtalk
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #420 on: Oct 23rd, 2007, 12:05am »

OK, I have had better days. Actually most of the last few weeks sucks. I know we all go through bad periods but it is a bit depressing when you have a bunch of downers at once.
It is not as bad as someone dealing with a suicide as mentioned above so I guess it is good to keep everything in perspective. I went through that suicide thing with a friend and i cry (if not outside at least in) every time I hear the fray do "How to Save a Life." I think it is a story I know exactly. To add to that I was talking tonight with someone about a mutual friend whose mother recently passed and other related problems so I was not in a bright and cheery mood. To top it off that friend is having computer problems so we have not been chatting.
Also, in the last few weeks I seem to have inadvertantly upset one of my online friends and I just don't know what to say that doesn't make it worse somehow, then there is another that seems to be avoiding me and has not answered my messages. I can't imagine I did anything wrong there but who knows. Don't think we don't get attached to our online friends as much as those we see regularly. (Someone here is going to think I am talking about him if he gets to read this. I'm not but pm me if you have doubts).
So the final point of an otherwise bad day (and it is cold and damp here to add some atmosphere), is that my ex (we have tried to remain friends...) called to tell me that he not only is dating (prolly was last time we went out, which explains A LOT) but that his new friend (met him online) had moved in ... a while back. You have to know that I have spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas with him and his parents for years as I really have no one here anymore, so he wanted to say something before it got too near the holidays. This also prolly explains the story he concocted not to get together for Easter dinner, that's how old this news is. I guess I was just kicked out of that family. He did finish with the ever classic, "I hope we can still be friends." That really goes rather well with something like: I have been lying to you about our relationship and you are not invited over for the holidays. Can't imagine any problem with that! I really didn't think we were going to get back together but I guess this just confirms it. With all the other things goin on, I don't think I have felt this alone in a long time. I am in one of the largest cities and have few friends here and no family except my mom (who regular readers of this thread may know is in a home due to stroke).

Well I went on a bit but went back and deleted the rest. It was turning into a very emo moment and not in a good way, so I thought I better throw that part out. Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Wake me up when October ends (apologies to Green Day).
« Last Edit: Oct 23rd, 2007, 12:07am by ihjtalk » Logged

Clain
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #421 on: Oct 24th, 2007, 2:14pm »

Ihjtalk - think it's Rich isn't it?

You've had a lot of bad things lately - I know it sounds trite to say an old cliche like 'time heals' but it does to some extent because we have to carry on living, the sun rises each morning etc. When I've been/am down (had lots of bad luck too) what I find happens is I wake one day and something, anything, even a simple thing cheers me up - after a while I usually come out of feeling down. Another cliche - there are plenty more fish in the sea


Actually, tonight, even though I'm happy about Jake and Reese it's also made me a bit down The only compensation that's helping is that Reese is the same type as me - little and blonde and older than Jake Some girls have all the luck.
« Last Edit: Oct 24th, 2007, 2:20pm by Clain » Logged



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Sarah
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #422 on: Oct 24th, 2007, 2:38pm »

My grandpa is really sick...like REALLY sick...so I have to go visit him, and my grandma, who I don't like....it's gonna be really awkward, and to top it off, it means I'm missing Big Gay Movie Night, which I've been looking foward to for AGES, and most importantly, the FIRST GAME OF SECTIONALS, if my soccer team gets in, and you guys know that the reason I haven't been on as much is that I've pretty much devoted my entire life from when pre-season started in the 3rd week of August to this team, and now I'm missing the most important game EVER.

God, I feel so guilty for even THINKING that...I mean, my grandfather is probably DYING...but...I'm so bad around sick people, and I really don't want to upset my grandmother, cuz she's REALLY easily aggrivated and ugh...I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

REESE IS DATING JAKE FOR REAL THIS TIME?!!!!
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ihjtalk
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #423 on: Oct 24th, 2007, 11:14pm »

on Oct 24th, 2007, 2:14pm, Clain wrote:
Ihjtalk - think it's Rich isn't it?
You've had a lot of bad things lately - I know it sounds trite to say an old cliche like 'time heals' but it does to some extent because we have to carry on living, the sun rises each morning etc. When I've been/am down (had lots of bad luck too) what I find happens is I wake one day and something, anything, even a simple thing cheers me up - after a while I usually come out of feeling down. Another cliche - there are plenty more fish in the sea

thanks for the kind words, yeah I know the old sayings well but it is kinda complicated cuz our friendship wents on for yrs, not too well at times, but our families kinda came together too. His mom helped my mom when we tried to keep her at home after the stroke and when she finally went to a home, I became part of their family cuz I had none left here myself. I spent the holidays with them whether me and "ex" were together at the time or not. Now I am tossed out and no family left. Of course, my mom actually tossed me out years ago so there was great irony in my coming back to take care of her and build a new family around her. Every time I see my mom she asks, did Damon go home? Yes he did, for good this time.
« Last Edit: Oct 24th, 2007, 11:17pm by ihjtalk » Logged

Clain
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #424 on: Oct 25th, 2007, 05:27am »

on Oct 24th, 2007, 11:14pm, ihjtalk wrote:
thanks for the kind words, yeah I know the old sayings well but it is kinda complicated cuz our friendship wents on for yrs, not too well at times, but our families kinda came together too. His mom helped my mom when we tried to keep her at home after the stroke and when she finally went to a home, I became part of their family cuz I had none left here myself. I spent the holidays with them whether me and "ex" were together at the time or not. Now I am tossed out and no family left. Of course, my mom actually tossed me out years ago so there was great irony in my coming back to take care of her and build a new family around her. Every time I see my mom she asks, did Damon go home? Yes he did, for good this time.


Rich, I don't know if my story will help you in any way, but here goes -

When I was just about in my early teens, then into my teenage years these things happened:

I went to a different school out of my area where I knew virtually no one.
Also, my brothers and sisters were a lot older than me and sort of moved on to their own new families.
At fifteen my darling father died of leukaemia after a long illness - leaving me at home with my mother with whom I never got along.

These things one after another in these years have affected me all my life - I felt very isolated, cut off from family and friends at a formative period in my life.

I know you're not a teenager Rich, and maybe what's happened to you is harder to bear when you're older. The way I dealt with my situation was to become more self-reliant/sufficient. I decided to carry on and survive somehow because it was up to me to live my life and carry it forward. Someone said the longest journey begins with one step....one step at a time Rich to live your life.

I think your boyfriend was completely out of order to string you along like he did.
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Clain
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #425 on: Oct 25th, 2007, 05:36am »

on Oct 24th, 2007, 2:38pm, Sarah! wrote:
My grandpa is really sick...like REALLY sick...so I have to go visit him, and my grandma, who I don't like....it's gonna be really awkward, and to top it off, it means I'm missing Big Gay Movie Night, which I've been looking foward to for AGES, and most importantly, the FIRST GAME OF SECTIONALS, if my soccer team gets in, and you guys know that the reason I haven't been on as much is that I've pretty much devoted my entire life from when pre-season started in the 3rd week of August to this team, and now I'm missing the most important game EVER.

God, I feel so guilty for even THINKING that...I mean, my grandfather is probably DYING...but...I'm so bad around sick people, and I really don't want to upset my grandmother, cuz she's REALLY easily aggrivated and ugh...I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

REESE IS DATING JAKE FOR REAL THIS TIME?!!!!


Sarah, only you can decide what to do, be true to yourself, but remember you'll have to live with your decision
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katie13
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #426 on: Oct 25th, 2007, 05:51am »

im sick of fighting with my friends.. i kknow its a stupid teenage girl thing that everyone probly goes through but its getting to me. i only have one year of school left and i dont want to spend it fighting with people, who start little bitchy arguments with me. especially with one of my friends, who ignores me for 2 weeks and i dont know y, then after that wont leave me alone telling me im her best friend and all.and if i dont talk to her for like a day.. shes all like ohh y r u angry at me.

i dont want to be friends with someone when its that hard.

maybe im just being a bitch.
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ihjtalk
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #427 on: Oct 25th, 2007, 08:58am »

@Clain: Thanks for the understanding words. It has been a tougher road right now but I do think I am much more self reliant because of certain things. It's hard to let go of some things in the past but it has to be done. The present was a bit of surprise but that will be in the past some day soon too. When I was on the street with nothing but my school books, I figured out how to get by (ok, I begged my father to take me in for a few months til I found a way to get by), but I survived and maybe better off in some way for it. That's well in the past now anyway and dad died of lung cancer after long illness so you see we both had similar problems.
Funny how the sad times come flooding back when some new problems surface. There is a saying to let go and let God but it is harder to live the words than say them. Anyway, I have to let go of IHJ or be late to work!
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Sarah
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #428 on: Oct 25th, 2007, 10:04pm »

I'm going to Florida tomorrow...today I sort of had an emotional breakdown...I had to talk to my coach, telling her I wasn't gonna be there...and she's like are you okay? I told her that he'd been sick for a year, and we'd known, but she said it didn't make it less hard, and if I needed anything to call her....I think...I've been focusing so much on the smaller stuff, like soccer, and parties, and the musical...it just sort of hit me like a ton of bricks that my GRANDFATHER is DYING....and all this stuff went wrong, so I walked all the way to my friends house from school...it was dark...then after like 45 mins I walked home (it's a mile and a half from her house to mine) but my cell battery died, so my parents couldn't reach me...and my mother is beyond pissed.
But I feel a bit better now that I've talked it out with her and stuff...I just...oh man, I just got all choked up again thinking about what my coach said...
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Sarah
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #429 on: Oct 25th, 2007, 10:37pm »

I hate my parents. Especially my father. I really do!! They're the least understanding people I know and they're my PARENTS! They're supposed to care about my happiness more than anything!! All my "dad" cares about is his authority.
I hate them. I HATE THEM. GODDAMNIT!! I'm going through enough right now without him making it WORSE!!!
*jumps off bridge, swims home, gets river water all over fathers most prized possessions, ruins them all, them goes and jumps off a higher bridge*
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skinniemini
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #430 on: Oct 25th, 2007, 10:51pm »

on Oct 25th, 2007, 05:51am, katie13 wrote:
im sick of fighting with my friends.. i kknow its a stupid teenage girl thing that everyone probly goes through but its getting to me. i only have one year of school left and i dont want to spend it fighting with people, who start little bitchy arguments with me. especially with one of my friends, who ignores me for 2 weeks and i dont know y, then after that wont leave me alone telling me im her best friend and all.and if i dont talk to her for like a day.. shes all like ohh y r u angry at me.

i dont want to be friends with someone when its that hard.

maybe im just being a bitch.


I wish I could tell you it will get better even after school but it won't. I graduated 10 yrs ago but I still remember how shady and bitchy the girls were! I had a friend in school sorta like your friend you described but sounds like my friend was worse. My friend would get sooo pissed at me if I even talked to anyone else or called anyone else my friend! She was extremely controlling and honestly at times i thought she was obsessed with me. And I let her be that way, cuz I guess I didn't want to lose her friendship.

Let me tell ya, you only have a yr of school left? Ride it out and don't let people get to ya (easy to say harder to do), kill them with kindness (<--ever heard that saying?) and do your BEST you can in school, cuz that right there is what will carry you. Not friendships. I can almost guarantee you in 5 yrs or so, you'll have totally different friends. Sad to say the bitchiness will never go away, there will always be bitchy women but with time and age the bitchiness will become more tactful and tasteful LOL. So, anyway, just remember this.....you'll see.....the world after high school is HUGE take every advantage you can, lots of things from high school like friendships, arguments, popularity won't matter at all and will soon be forgotten. Good Luck
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ihjtalk
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #431 on: Oct 26th, 2007, 01:02am »

Hey Sarah, Sry to hear about your grandfather, that is always a tough thing to go through and there never is a proper thing to say. It is even harder when parents seem not to understand, though I suspect that many times they really do. I had some tough times growing up but I still don't know if there is anything to say to make things better. I find sometimes just spilling it out here helps a little. I'll send best wishes and positive thoughts your way to help during a difficult time.
R
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #432 on: Oct 26th, 2007, 01:55am »

This past year has been really crazy... there must be something in the atmosphere because it seems that many have been having a rough time lately.

To all those whom are going through a tough time right now just know that you are not alone and that these times will pass. Things will get better, you just gotta hold on and push through it.

I look in the mirror with that said above. I have had a rough time this year and it has been difficult keeping my head above water. I'm actaully getting a little teary-eyed thinking about it. I've experienced a lot of loss this year. My great grandmother passed away, a dear friend died of a brain tumor, another friend died of cancer that had spread throughout her body, just over a month ago the family dog had passed away, two weeks ago a dog that i used to take care of and became very close to passed away of old age, and earlier in the summer another dog that I used to care for passed away from renal failure. I found out in November that my dad has cancer and he is being very stubborn on seeking treatment for it right now... saying that he has too much going on at work. Two weeks ago I almost lost my mother again... this time due to a car accident. She's doing okay now, thank God.

With all of that I have also been dealing with the pain of loosing someone I once concidered a best friend. I moved last August (06) to live with her in NV and she ended up being a bit crazy, obssesive and possesive. I started a new career when moving out here and have really regretted leaving my old job. It was the only job that I've ever had in my life that I truely loved. I have spent the past year trying to get back there and luckily I'll be going back there in December... things FINALLY worked out there. My now former friend betrayed me in some of the worst ways and it really breaks my heart. She just recently apologized and is trying to start up a friendship with me again.

I'm just at a loss right now... trying to figure out which way is up. The new career I started when I moved out here to NV... well, they fired me at the end of Sept. And for no reason... I am fighting it with the state because I feel as though I was miss treated. But I got fired the day after I had lost my friend to cancer and just two weeks ago is when my doggie friend died of old age and when my mother got into a car accident. I have been trying to find a job so that I can save up some money for when I move in Dec and also so that I can pay my bills.... I havn't had any luck. Luckily I have great roommates now and they have been helping me keep my spirits up. I am so greatful for them.

So this is so long... I just had to vent. The weight on my shoulders feels a little lighter having let some of the crazy stuff that's been going on out.
« Last Edit: Oct 26th, 2007, 01:58am by Alec Ramsey » Logged


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katie13
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #433 on: Oct 26th, 2007, 03:38am »

Skinniemini thank u so much for ure advice, i kind of decided i just will be nice to everyone and if they have a problem with me they can go f.ck themselves. everything u said was right, im going to have so many different friends when i leave school, and the people who i keep fighting with, at least i dont hav to see them every single day at school.

xox
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Clain
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #434 on: Oct 26th, 2007, 06:40am »




Shamrock it's difficult to know what to say to you - so many things one after another. 'Things can only get better.'

What I get from your story is that you must be an incredibly strong person to have suffered all this and still remained sane.

You have good roomates now who help you. Stay strong and focused and keep on going!
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