Feeling depressed?

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Myself
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #90 on: Jul 4th, 2006, 09:08am »

It all started when i lost a friend two years ago.
She thought that i was the one who told her crush about her feelings for him...but i didn't do it.
I tried to get her back but yeah...i've lost her.
After this i felt sad and alone for a very long time and...somehow i still feel guilty and i hate myself for not telling her the truth...it's horrible... .
« Last Edit: Jul 4th, 2006, 09:10am by Myself » Logged

Ellie
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #91 on: Jul 6th, 2006, 10:08am »

on Jul 4th, 2006, 09:08am, Myself wrote:
It all started when i lost a friend two years ago.
She thought that i was the one who told her crush about her feelings for him...but i didn't do it.
I tried to get her back but yeah...i've lost her.
After this i felt sad and alone for a very long time and...somehow i still feel guilty and i hate myself for not telling her the truth...it's horrible... .

Oh honey, I'm sorry. I hope you make it up with her one day. *hugs*

I'm feeling very, very, very depressed right now. I've just had a huge arguement with my friend about my graphics and me as a person, as I think my graphics are crap and I'm a nasty, decieving person, but she doesn't. I ended up going offline and leaving her there; now I feel terrible.

I'm quite surprised that I haven't cut yet.
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Ellie
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #92 on: Aug 9th, 2006, 06:58am »

*thread drag up*

My camera's broken I don't know how I did it but we can't replace it... I feel awful.
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Dottie
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #93 on: Aug 9th, 2006, 3:51pm »

My heart goes out to all of you, I remember how it felt to be your age. Let me tell you my story, when I was 16 I had a baby, in those days they didn't give you a home to live in, they put you in a home (institution) the baby died, he only lived 8 hours.I was heartbroken. A few years later I got married and had my beautiful son David, when he was twelve he contracted bone cancer and died 6 months later. I thought I would go mad with grief, I wanted to just lay down and die, but I didn't, I just kept waking up each morning, that was in 1976 (remember I am 63years old) After a couple of years we decided to have another baby and my gorgeous son Simon was born in 1979 I couldn't stop crying for two days, I was so happy !! every time I looked at him, my heart skipped a beat, still does.! Then two years after that (to the day) my youngest son Michael was born (both on Valentines Day) and my life was complete.
So you see, you might feel depressed now, I think it must be part of the human condition, it happens to everyone, at some stage in their lives for whatever reason, but don't despair, life, I can assure you does get better, and you never know what is round the corner.
I've hear it say, that you have to be depressed sometimes in order to know what it's like to be happy. My love to everyone.
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #94 on: Aug 9th, 2006, 6:59pm »

^^Dottie, sounds like you've been through alot and managed to stay strong, to become stronger in my opinion. You sound like a wise woman.
Quote:
I've hear it say, that you have to be depressed sometimes in order to know what it's like to be happy.

I truly believe that. If you haven't been at the bottom, how are you supposed to know when you're at the top? Those who are at the top constantly can't appriciate it, because they don't know what it's like at the bottom. Where you feel like shit.

I was depressed for about 2 years when I was younger. Mostly because I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I was going mad. I had these strange experiences where I "blacked out". I had them since I was about 6 years old, but it's wasnt until I was 13 -14 I got depressed over it.
They felt as if I went into another world. It got cloudy, or how I should put it.
I paralyzed and no one could contact me. I saw how they were trying to talk to me, but somehow I couldn't reply. And when I came back into the real world I couldn't speak and fell asleep.
We, me and my mom, always thought they were panic attacks, because they only occure when I, saw sertain items. Which we thought might remind me of something bad thats happened before. If I looked at, for instance, a speaker I got one of these "attacks". Or when walking into a door. Sounds weird I know. And they could range from 4 times a day to 2 times a month. Very irregular.

But anyway, I thought I was going mad, and I constantly looked for weird things about myself, which I, of course, found thousands of. And I started to beat myself with it. I was always walking around terrified, just waiting to do something uncontroleable, go mad. All because I had these so called attacks which I couldn't controle.
I was eating myself up from the inside. Fighting with myself.
Bah, anyway, we finally went to the doctor when I couldn't take it anymore. And it turned out it was epilepsy. Ironic. When I started to take medication it was as if coming out of a storm to bright sunlight. I wasn't mad after all. It was a tremendous changed in my life. As soon as I took that lil pill I remember feeling like I could conquer the world lol.

But those we're the most difficult years of my life. I thought I was gonna go under and die.
But today, I dare say I'm grateful for having this condition. Since we thought it was mentally I had to search through my whole being, analyzing trying to figure out what it was. And out of all that sh*t I got to learn about myself, which I'm not sure I would have had time to otherwise. I know who I am because of all this. And I owe it alot to my mom. She saw me through it, really. We used to talk for hours, and I have never met such a wise person. Everything she said back then I know today is true. I guess I did then too, but I couldn't take it in.
So in the end we never would have had to do that, if we had known it was epilepsy. So I'm grateful for my epilepsy!
Though, one thing we couldn't explain, and still can't, is that during these attacks I knew what people were going to say and do. The doctor was soo nice and helping, but when we told him about this he just looked at us, had never heard about anything like that before. That got me a lil scared.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that, if I wouldn't had gone through this I don't think I would be who I am today and appriciate everything I have. Including a healthy mind!

Dang, long post, don't mind me, hehe.




Oh! And maybe I should add that I'm the happiest human being on this planet today. I got nothing to worry about.
But believe me, I've had my fair share of the bottom.
« Last Edit: Aug 9th, 2006, 7:01pm by StartledKitten » Logged

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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #95 on: Aug 9th, 2006, 8:18pm »

Wow - some of these stories are amazing. It let's us know that when we are depressed we are not alone.
Dottie: I was really touched. It's nice that things finally worked out for you.
Startledkitten: I knew someone that went through a similar experience. We were concerned for years because we did not know what was happening with him or how to help. It's better now.
I think depression is part of life. Some people might be better at dealing with it or hiding it but it is there. I had some really bad news seven years ago and thought I was going to die - literally. Since then I have been up and down and have to work real hard to stay on an even pace, but I still have big highs and deep lows. I don't think anyone should be afraid or embarassed to take medication if that's what it takes to smooth out the road.
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #96 on: Aug 11th, 2006, 11:31am »

Gosh when is it all gonna stop? Wish this year is over soon! First I lost my granddad after 6 months of fighting against cancer. Then a couple months ago my mom had several bleedings in her brains so she is now that damaged that I have to take care of my family now. Getting my life back on track finally... Then this morning I'm getting a phonecall my aunt is having the same cancer as my granddad Can't wait till 2007!
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #97 on: Aug 11th, 2006, 9:36pm »

Hang in there jackyg. Sometimes we have to go through the valleys. I hope things get better soon.
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #98 on: Aug 13th, 2006, 07:12am »

I hope so too. Thanx
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #99 on: Aug 14th, 2006, 03:27am »

Yes. ...in a dilemma...i'll be Ok tho...
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #100 on: Aug 16th, 2006, 12:28pm »

I just thought I'd post in here this evening because I'm feeling a little bit fed up and I wanted to reach out to you all. Not a big drama or anything but I'm having a hard time at work, nothing like anyone else's problems. I've got that feeling that I'm wasting my time and it's so hard to pick yourself up yet again. Sorry, moan over!
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buhnanas
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #101 on: Aug 16th, 2006, 12:44pm »

on Aug 16th, 2006, 12:28pm, KateA wrote:
I just thought I'd post in here this evening because I'm feeling a little bit fed up and I wanted to reach out to you all. Not a big drama or anything but I'm having a hard time at work, nothing like anyone else's problems. I've got that feeling that I'm wasting my time and it's so hard to pick yourself up yet again. Sorry, moan over!

Don't worry about it because you're not the only one who feels like that.

Sorry guys that I haven't been on here for like a few weeks. I haven't been in the mood to do anything. And since school is coming up again, it reminds me of too much that happened last year. I can't go to sleep at night anymore. I cry before I fall asleep, and I have no clue why. It's just like last year. I was depressed, for so many reasons. Now, everything is creeping back to me. I thought I was over my dad not loving me , the pressure that will come from school and my mom and other small things that make me sad. Everyone is expecting me to do better than I can give. And I can't do anymore. I tried, and look at where it had gotten me? My mom doesn't understand. I promised her that I would tell her how I'm feeling, but I don't think I can even keep that promise. This morning she asked me if I went to sleep last night. I guessed she could sence it, but I guess I don't want to tell her anything because I want to protect her. Last time I told my mom everything, it felt like she put me on a guilt trip...making her sound like a bad mother. I just don't know anymore. I'm so confused, and the problem is that when school starts, I'm not going to eat. It's been a bad habbit. God, I told my dear cousin about losing at least 5 pounds. The she rubs it in my face that she lost 7. WTF is up with that. (at least I still weigh less than her) And now my other friend how is going through the same thing, is getting better. I thought that I was getting better, but looks like i"m going backwards. I just don't know anymore.
I guess I have to keep my head held high, get good grades to go to Medical School, (Proving to my dad that I'll become a doctor, not a Nurse...and that was very insulting) ignore my feelings. Not cry anymore. And I should eat...(yeah right)

a;lskdjfa;klsdjf
that was a little rant...and I don't even think that it made sence. Thanks for listening
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #102 on: Aug 19th, 2006, 03:41am »

I have been feeling so lost lately... like i dont know why im here ... god i hate this shit...
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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #103 on: Aug 19th, 2006, 04:19am »

I often feel like that too. Its so shocking and sad that so many people get depressed and keep existing like that without getting help.

Here's a forum which has definately helped me so much. There's password protected sections for delicate issues and many of the forum sections are not visible unless you join. I highly recommend it.

http://silenttear.2.forumer.com
« Last Edit: Aug 19th, 2006, 04:21am by LuvYouJake » Logged


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Re: Feeling depressed?
« Reply #104 on: Aug 19th, 2006, 04:22am »

im getting depressed now just thinking about school...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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